Kendalls Sweet 16 party was last Saturday One week ago today. One week ago I thought everything was great. She was happy, thrilled even with her party. She had tons of friends there, family, even her dad and I were getting along great and enjoying the party together. She got a surprise of her car. She was so happy.
Then Tuesday came.Tuesday her dad called me and told me Kendall was being taken to the hospital, to the children hospital because she was found in a neighbors yard passed out from a drug overdose. Kendall tried to kill herself.
This sweet happy child tried to kill herself. Two days after what seemed to be the greatest night of her life!
She was found with meth and opiates in her system. That is from the over the counter Sedated and her anxiety medicine along with some migraine meds. Why would she do this? She was rushed to the hostile where she stayed for 2 days then was transferred to a adolescent facility to talk with some therapists and get some help she needs.
Today was day 2 of visiting her in there. It is Rough!! I only get an hour, in a large room with the other parents visiting their children. all ages from 11-18. Its a bit awkward at first, after the initial hug and tears. Then it coe s an hour of chatting about everything but the elephant in the room. When that elephant is mentioned then the tears start, from both her and me. Its hard to get away from the sadness and hard to get off the roller coaster of feelings that are going on . Even in Target today I see Halloween Oreos and I think Kendall would love these, but I'm not sure when she will be back, OMG she almost wasn't back! what would have happened!?
I can't get away from the random thoughts and sadness that run through my head. the thought of her laying on the grass in a yard. the thought of her being alone in that facility, scared, wanting to come home, wanting to shower, wanting to be that little girl again . Asking me to lay down and cuddle with her.
One day at a time. I just hope that each day will be better than the last. Every time the phone rings I'm afraid its the center, overtime I go to see her I'm not sure how she will be sad, happy, mad. Its just one day at a time.
Hug your kids a little tighter tonight. Hug them talk to them, make the time to listen to them. I wish mine was home so i could do that!
