Birthday Reflections

I turned 45 last Sunday.  Wow it doesn't even seem right to say Im 45!!  Its funny but I still see myself as a 20 something woman with a baby.  Weird how we see ourselves and the people around us.  For example I don't think my friends I see regularly have aged one bit.  But then there are those people you see every blue moon that when you see them its a shock.  I mean how can they look so Old??  and then the inevitable question…Do I look that old??  

 I don't think I look 45….I keep telling myself!

I went to my first Blackhawks game and became a HUGE fan

I was asked to be in my first fashion show…and I wasn't just in one…I was in Three!!  Never would I imagine that!!

I think being in our 40's is much different from when our parents where that age.  I remember my mom turning 45 and 50, and thinking she looks like a mom.  She looks 45 and 50.  I think with the way society is today we just don't look our age anymore.(at least thats what I'm going to think!)  I mean at 45 my mom was overweight, didn't really do a whole lot of activities with me like playing outside, going on roller coasters and stuff like that. ( side note, she was the MOST amazing mother though and I miss her EVERY SINGLE DAY!) I do those things with my kids.   I think back to the past year and I have had an amazing one.  I mean I not only took my first international trip, BUT I took THREE!!  I am now a world traveler.  Ask me if I would fly, let along fly internationally 10 years ago and I would have said NO WAY!  I have traveled on a road trip over 500 miles away by myself.  I know for a lot of people this is not a big deal however it has taken me 44 years to be able to say I have done that.  Plus I not only did it once, but multiple times!  I have learned to be by myself and to be ok with it, almost enjoy the time I have alone.  Before I feared being by myself.   In the past year I have had a fairy tale proposal.  The man of my dreams made every single dream I had of becoming engaged come true. 

In Zurich…before the big question……

Of course I said YES!!!!

This man makes all my dreams come true.

 He is now giving me my fairy tale wedding happening next year.  November 21, 2015 to be exact.  I actually attribute my growing up with meeting this amazing man.  He has given me the courage to step outside of my box and try new things, go new places and although some of them scare the Hell out of me and I fight him kicking and screaming, after the fact I am usually ALWAYS glad I did them.  Going to the Middle East this summer for example, I did not want to go.  But, looking back I am glad I experienced that and lived to talk about it.  I survived a 21 hour plane ride to Australia  I went to Switzerland and rode a train up to the highest point in Europe to have the man I love take me to the top of the world because thats how I make him feel.  I experienced jet lag, I have eaten things that have not been very good but were culturally native to where I was.  I have been a better mother to my kids, all 4 of them.  Trying to learn from my mistakes and actually having a partner who will parent them WITH me instead of just being a sperm donor and playmate to them.  I would like to think they have benefitted from my growing up also.  Thats how I feel.   I feel that I have finally become a grown up. Not old, but a grown up.

Not older…just better